‘Wankers Everywhere’ by Sean O Callagha

A psychoanalyst once said to me
“All that sitting at home wanking all day is just a product of anxiety”
He may be right too,
but streaming porn into the living rooms bedrooms and secret enclaves of pleasure seeking animals, may also have something to do with it…

Walking out of a garage the other night I couldn’t help but notice…
on a shelf alone, one porn magazine… still in its plastic cover.
Seemed so old fashioned sitting there considering the quick advances made in that industry.

Just getting porn in our little village twenty years ago was a monumental task for the 14 year old boy…. Maybe if you were lucky and babysitting for an aunt or suchandsuchinaone…On Searching there bedrooms as you would, if off curious disposition… you’d find some on top the wardrobe, or under the bed…
more than often things your looking for are found in the most obvious of places.
and the sheer excitement of it all, popping it in the player,
and popping one out…the hunt nearly always as good as the kill.

In our village, the man with the porn was a mentally retarded Cousin of mine.
movie fanatic and keeper of many blue movies,
“who wasn’t as slow as he walked aaasy” all the people used to say,

My uncle would get them from him. and I would in turn steal them from my Uncle
of which I’d never hear a mention. manys the known sexual secret kept quiet in small Irish villages. Then it’d be waiting on the right time. It could have been days away too
because no one had two V C R’s…Just one in the living room,
so waiting on the parents to go out of a night and getting it on as soon as they’d turned the corner of the street movie in cock in hand and never ever getting much past the first ten minutes…then taking it out and guiltily hiding it somewhere outside the house far away from me so if found I couldn’t be blamed and my mother would never know it was me committing those ungodly sins.

Then time would come to pass it on to another well deserved sperm laden teenager,
only to willing to accept such a precious gift, who would use it accordingly.
And not so sordid at all…more like carry on laughing saucy…
but look now at the flick of a button there’s all and everything you Could never even of imagined until you seen it first,
and people of all political persuasions,denominations, creeds and religions
whacking off like crazy and making funny faces in front of screens, alone.

a funny image for our age, but an important one…happening everywhere that electricity apple pc Microsoft and technology goes…24 7 streaming porn into every home… A product of anxiety, possibly a healthy pastime taken too far sometimes …but the biggest industry online… A lonely past time for one after a while…better with another surely, if ye can get it…But what sort of hypocrite am I talking like this….
Possibly the biggest wanker of the lot…………

Sean is an Irishman living in Melbourne, Australia. He may well be the best Irish writer since James Joyce. Find out at: http://www.myspace.com/agonyarnie

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One response to “‘Wankers Everywhere’ by Sean O Callagha

  1. hahahahahahaha Excellent!!!

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